SOVA skit: I Sound Like What?
"I Sound Like What?"
(We open on a scene of the Pokemon set, where we see the crew racing about, getting ready to film. Ash and co. are in the actor's lounge, unpacking from a vacation they've been on for the last week.)
May: That was such a wonderful vacation!
Brock: I know...but it's good to be home... (unzips his suitcase and starts unpacking souvenirs)
Ash: I'm going to call Topaz and tell her we're home...(we hear the Pokemon Red/Blue opening from Ash's side)
May: Or she decided to call you!
Ash: True... (he reaches for the cellphone by his side and answers it on speakerphone) Hello?
Topaz: Hey, everybody...Topaz here. (everyone mumbles hellos) Good news-bad news time...
Misty: The good news first, please!
Topaz: Okay, the good news is, the crew finished up the filming of the tenth anniversary special while you were out....
Topaz: But the bad news is...the director got so impatient with wanting it done that he asked the stunt doubles to film it.
Ash: You mean...
Topaz: Yeah, he replaced the film with you guys in it with a new roll of film...and some of their voices you have to hear to believe! To make matters worse, he's trumpeting how great it is to the press...
Brock: The fans...how are the fans reacting?
Topaz: They're in a major uproar! Letters and e-mails have been pouring into the studio saying that you don't sound right! Even the Rockets got replaced with their stunt doubles!
Ash: This is bad...
Topaz: It is...because if the press believes the director, these awful actors will be used for next season!
Brock: And did he ask us about this? NO!
Topaz: I'm going to get the Rockets over here so all of you can see for yourselves how bad these actors are...
Ash: Okay..later, Topaz. (he hangs up) Great, the director used new actors without our knowledge...what are we gonna do?
(Meanwhile, in a Rocket base, a quick glance around notices that Jessie and James are out, but Meowth is there, snoozing in a chair nearby the entrance. James' cell phone lies on a table next to the chair.)
(We watch Meowth sleep for a few moments, until the phone comes to life with the voices of his human companions singing "I'll be the king! I'll be the queen!")
Meowth(groggily): ...and I'll be da joker...(yawn) of crime... (he sits up as the phone repeats its song) Oh, it's just da phone... (he grabs the phone and answers, still a little groggy) Hello?
Topaz: Hi, Meowth...we have a situation back at the studio...
Meowth: Is da tenth annivoisary episode delayed or somtin'?
Topaz: Worse...the director used the stunt doubles as the actors in you guys places!
Meowth: WHAT??? Who gave him dat harebrained idea?
Topaz: I don't know, but you guys and the twerps need to see how bad the special is...
Meowth: Dey even replaced the twoips?
Topaz: Even the twerps...so tell Jessie and James to get to the studio as quickly as possible!
Meowth: Sure ting, Topaz. (he hangs up) Who were dose guys that gave da director the idea of replacing us...
(We fade to the scene of one of the the studio's screening rooms. Ash and the gang are already seated towards the front, but when the Rockets enter, Pikachu spots them and begins charging a few sparks, which prompt the Rockets to find a place in the back, away from the gang.)
Ash: Easy, Pikachu... (Pikachu stops sparking as Ash pets him. Topaz enters the room with a reel of film.)
Topaz: Okay gang...let me say that you guys are probably not going to like what you're about to see...but in watching this, I want you to get mad, mad enough to tell these people that we're not going to let the special air like this... (threads the reel into the projector and starts it, making the lights go down)
(After counting down "3...2...1..." we see a black screen for a moment before a loud techno beat begins and a rapper begins speaking.)
Misty(over the music): You call THAT music?
May: I'd call it trash!
Ash: It's...loud... (covers ears. Pikachu does the same)
Brock: You SURE the volume control isn't broken?
Topaz: Nope, what you're hearing is normal volume.... (the Rockets mouths are agape)
Jessie: How can they call this a theme song?
James: Song being a relative term... (covers ears)
Meowth: DAH!!!! Toin it off! Toin it off! (covers ears)
Topaz: You think the theme song's bad...it only gets worse from there....
(Ash winces as his likeness on the screen reads 'Dear Ash Ketchum...')
Ash: I do not sound like some pirate wannabe! (May and Brock are equally aghast at the voices of their onscreen likenesses)
May: How did I turn sixteen so fast?
Brock: And how did I magically age into an old geezer?
(Pikachu starts to laugh at the voices, Ash just sighs, embarrassed)
Ash: It's not funny, Pikachu...
(Pikachu just continues to laugh at the awful voices. Max notes this as he listens to his likeness onscreen speak)
Max: He must think they are a joke, now I sound like you, Ash...
Misty: They ARE a joke... (The Rockets are also aghast at the new voices)
Meowth: If the twoips sound dis bad, I dread to know what we sound like...
James: Like this... (he runs his fingernails on a nearby chalkboard)
Ash: I'd take the nails on a chalkboard over this....
Meowth: Psst...Topaz... ::waves a paw in front of Topaz::
Jessie: This part's boring....
Meowth: Can you fast foward it to where we're on?
Topaz: Sure. (the action on the screen fast fowards to a scene of the Rockets. James winces when he hears his likeness speak)
James: Last time I checked, I'm not related to British royalty....
Jessie: And I am NOT that snappy!
Meowth: Oh yeah?
Jessie: Am not!
Meowth: Are too!
Jessie: Am not!
Meowth: Are too!
Everyone else: SSSSSHHHH!!!!!!!
Meowth: Sorry... (shoots annoyed look at Jessie, then his mouth drops to the floor when he hears his likeness speak) How did I wind up soundin' like some kid who had too much candy?
Topaz: I hope you're all thouroghly mad now...(she turns the projector off, making the lights come up)
Brock: I am! I'd like to give my patented right hook to whoever messed this special up! (rolls up a sleeve as if preparing to throw a punch)
Ash: We need to do something!
Topaz: Then I have just the people you need to talk to... (she reaches for a phone and dials a number) A group of fans have started a movement to get you guys back on the show, because they were not impressed by the wannabes you heard....so who wants to volunteer to talk to their leader?
Brock: I do!
Ash: I do!
Topaz: Looks like Brock got it...(hands off the phone to Brock)
Brock(thinking): I hope their leader has a nice voice...